Archives for April 2020

The most common concern I receive about our decision to homeschool is “How is Mara socialized?” As annoying as this question may be, I would have asked something similar before we started researching the benefits of homeschooling. Homeschooling and socialization is a topic that’s frequently discussed.

I could quote study after study demonstrating that homeschooled children are often better socialized than children in school. Instead, let’s start by discussing the two main definitions of socialization:

1. The activity of mixing socially with others.
2. The process of learning to behave in a way that is acceptable to society.

Let’s start with the first definition, “the activity of mixing socially with others”. A homeschooler interacts with their parents, siblings, extended family, friends of the family and their children, neighbours, fellow homeschoolers, clergy members, community members and others. Most homeschooled children mix socially as much as children registered in school.

As for the second definition, “the process of learning to behave in a way that is acceptable to society”, I would argue that homeschoolers are better socialized in this manner than children attending school. Children at school are surrounded by peers of their own age that may be bullies or may not share your family’s values.

When I attended public school, many kids engaged in bullying behaviour, swore, had temper tantrums when they didn’t get their way and much more. By high school, many kids smoked, consumed drugs, vandalized buildings and more. Nowadays, you can add the issues of addiction to devices, video games and social media to this list as well.

Some peers are positive role models, but if you think back, you probably remember the bullies. When children are at school, they’re exposed to these negative behaviours. At home, you can build up their self-worth. You can model kindness, generosity and love.

Furthermore, what does “acceptable to society” actually mean? We want our children to be kind, but what about social activism? What if you teach your child to: march in the streets to support climate change efforts, fight against an unfair law, stand up for a marginalized community, question their boss when he or she does something unethical, question religious doctrine if it doesn’t feel right, or to accept themselves and come out as gay or trans? I ask you; are these behaviours “acceptable to society”?

Behaving in a socially acceptable manner isn’t always the right thing to do, often it’s just what’s comfortable. Through homeschooling, we are socializing Mara not to accept the world for what it is, but to imagine and stand up for what it could be. We teach her to create her own path instead of following in society’s footsteps. If this means that Mara isn’t properly socialized, then so be it – we’re anti-social and proud!

If you’d like to learn more about homeschooling and socialization, check out the studies at this link:
https://ontariohomeschool.org/about-homeschooling/socialization/

Quote of the Day:

The idea that children need to be around many other youngsters in order to be “socialized” is perhaps the most dangerous and extravagant myth in education and child rearing today.”

  ― Dr. Raymond Moore – Educator, Researcher and Homeschool Advocate

Happy Homeskooling!

Lisa & Mara